Ann Coulter's most recent column:
The recently released book Game Change reports that Sen. Harry Reid said America would vote for Barack Obama because he was a "light-skinned" African-American "with no Negro dialect, unless he wanted to have one."
The book also says Bill Clinton called Sen. Ted Kennedy to ask for his endorsement of Hillary over Obama, saying of Obama: "A few years ago, this guy would have been getting us coffee."
And we already knew that Obama's own vice president, Joe Biden, called Obama "articulate" and "clean" during the campaign. (So you can see why Biden got the vice presidential nod over Reid.)
Democrats regularly say things that would end the career of any conservative who said them. And still, blacks give 90 percent of their votes to the Democrats.
Reid apologized to President Obama, and Obama accepted the apology using his "white voice." So now all is forgiven.
Clinton also called Obama to apologize, but ended up asking him to bring everybody some coffee.
Now the only people waiting for an apology are the American people who want an apology from Nevada for giving us Harry Reid.
Reid will be the guest of honor at a luncheon in Las Vegas this week hosted by a group called "African-Americans for Harry Reid." That's if you can call two people a "group."
They used to be called "African-Americans for David Duke," but that was mostly a social thing. Now they're doing real political organizing.
If this gets off the ground, "African-Americans for Harry Reid" will be a political juggernaut that cannot be denied. Their motto: "We Will Be Heard -- As Soon As I Get This Gentleman's Coffee."
Reid has also picked up an endorsement from the United Light-Skinned Negro College Fund. And Tiger Woods is considering endorsing him. He is the one light-skinned half-black guy right now who's thrilled with Reid's comments.
Reid's defenders don't have much to work with. Their best idea so far is that at least he said "Negro" and not "Nigra."
Liberals are saying that since Reid was pointing out Obama's pale hue in support of his run for the presidency, it was OK to praise his skin color and non-Negro dialect. (Reid is denying reports that in 2007 he said to Obama: "You should run. You people are good at that.")
In fact, Reid didn't endorse Obama until after Hillary dropped out of the race. It turns out, he also admired Hillary for her light skin and the fact that she only uses a Negro dialect when she wants to.
In the alternative, liberals are defending Reid by claiming he said nothing that wasn't true, though he may have used "an unusual set" of words -- as light-skinned Reid-defender Harold Ford Jr. put it.
As long as we're mulling the real meaning of Reid's words and not just gasping in awe at the sorts of things Democrats get away with saying, I think Reid owes America an apology for accusing the entire country of racism. A country, let us note, that just elected a manifestly unqualified, at least partially black man president.
On the other hand, Reid couldn't have been expecting Republicans to vote for a Democrat, so I gather Reid was accusing only Democratic voters of being racists.
I don't disagree with that, but I'd like to get it in writing.
I think the Democratic platform should include a statement that the Democrats will not vote for dark-skinned blacks with a Negro dialect. Check with Harry Reid on the precise wording, but something along the lines of "no one darker than Deepak Chopra."
The "whereas" clauses can include the Democrats' history of supporting slavery, segregation, racial preferences, George Wallace and Bull Connor -- and also a precis of their treatment of dark-skinned Clarence Thomas.
BREAKING NEWS: Hoping to curry favor with the African-American community, Sen. Reid was arrested late this afternoon after breaking into his own home.
Democrats couldn't win an election without the black vote, but the Democratic Party keeps treating blacks like stage props, wheeling them out for photo-ops and marches now and then but almost never putting them in charge of anything important.
President Bush appointed the first black secretary of state and then the first black female secretary of state. Meanwhile, the closest black woman to Bill Clinton was his secretary, Betty Currie.
The one sitting black Supreme Court justice, Clarence Thomas, was appointed by a Republican.
The head of the Republican National Committee is black -- medium-skinned, but liberals treated Michael Steele like a dark-skinned black when they threw Oreo cookies at him during the Maryland gubernatorial campaign in 2002.
After the 2000 election, Democrats had a chance to make one of the rare smart Democrats, Donna Brazile, head of the Democratic National Committee. Brazile had just run a perfectly respectable campaign on behalf of that bumbling buffoon Al Gore.
She also happens to be black. Again, blacks give 90 percent of their votes to the Democrats.
But the Democrats skipped over Brazile and handed the DNC chairmanship to the goofy white guy in lime green pants, Howard Dean.
UPDATE: Harry Reid has just apologized to the light-skinned people of Haiti for the 7.0 earthquake that hit them Tuesday afternoon.
The single most insulting remark made about blacks in my lifetime was Bill Clinton's announcement -- after being caught in the most humiliating sex scandal in world history -- that he was "the first black president."
He did not call himself "the first black president" when liberals were dancing and singing to Fleetwood Mac at his inauguration. He did not call himself "the first black president" when he was feeling our pain and being lionized by the media. He did not call himself "the first black president" when he was trying to socialize health care or passing welfare reform.
Not until he became a national embarrassment did Clinton recognize that he was "the first black president."
At least he could finally get his own coffee.